For the past two weeks, I have been on extreme mood swings.One min I'm feeling as though I've the best in my life that I can ever ask for and the next i feel frustrated and feel like a complete failure. This is getting on my nerves and well, on other ppl nerves too.
April- important month to so many students. Busy making career decisions. What to join after tenth. Which college, which course, job or higher studies and the endless confusions and frustrations that will drain the mind right away. Some people are successful in making the right choices(or compromises if necessary) but many are thrown off balance.
Failures- Nobody will ever get used to that term. That idea. I remember very cleary, a year ago, the same time, I would have probably been sitting with my heads on my hands looking miserable. I had messed up CAT and felt like a complete failure and having no other option at that time, it was like falling down an abyss.
Life has never been easy. If someone has a notion that life is easy, then they are plainly wrong. Its a rat race. Everybody keeps racing towards that one thing. You stop them and ask where they are heading- BANG! Nobody knows. They draw a blank. Food, living, success, achievement,Happiness- these are some of the terms that are thrown out as answer to the question. But when u ask them to define happiness- another blank. If we get a job, we want a house. If we get a house, we want a car and then are we happy? NO! We want something more. You see? We are chasing the elusive, not even knowing it.
Last year, I gave that fateful CAT a shot and needless to say, failed hopelessly. Then came the confusion. To work or opt for pg in a okish coll(my expectation was somewwhere along the top 10). No college seemed good enough. Then I had a choice to opt for professional courses (CWA/CS) but then I have to compromise on the college. Compromise! how I hate the word. Imagine having dreams about IIMs and suddenly pushed into a less than mediocre college cause life is slipping away and u dont have time to wait and give it another shot. Chasing the dream- many would call it. I thought, harsh reality. I compromised well yes, grudgingly. And I paid the price for compromising grudgingly. I hated every minute of the college.It is a decent college and I could have been happy there had I not expected more in the first place. but from IIMs to this coll- the fall was deeper than I had imagined. Once I hit the bottom, I started to look around. It was not bad after all. I just didnt know, there are people here who are content on this side of the sea. I had closed my eyes all along and was too short sighted to see what I could possibly do with what I have.
Now, though still groping, I have found my way. I know that I have made the right choice. I am happy. No. rather, I would call I'm wise. Not boasting but now I know that I might not have been happier if I had waited a year to chase my dream. Compromising is not bad after all if you know to accept it fully. I can recall the lyrics of an arr song. "Not every road you come across is one you have to take. No, sometimes standing still can be the best move you ever make." How true!
I like riding in my pep along the busy roads of chennai(I like sitting behind my friend and watching other vehicles even more) and life is just like that busy road. So many signals. In some, U will have to stop, in some its enough if u just slow while in others u can just speed by. So many people will try cutting ur way not cause they want u to fall down but cause they want to go ahead. when you r far behind, nobody will bother honking at u but when u are first in line, u have to bear with the honking. Even if u are first at a signal, there are always others who are far ahead of you. people who started earlier. In different times. People who have different goals. Few with whom u started the journey, will come with you till u reach your destination while a lot of people, take some turn and disappear. You cant keep chasing everyone or overtake everyone on the road but keep your mind on the destination and reach it. You can take a roller-coaster ride and reach it in 2 secs or u can take hours to reach but what finally matters is that u have to reach it. Once you reach where u want to go and u look back, u shouldnt wish u had taken the alternative route cause unlike the pep trip, life is just once.
We always search for that happiness but I tell u, its "ELUSIVE" . So dont look too far and forget where u are. Life is worth much more than the rat race it is!
